30 Signs You’ve Lived in London Too Long

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  1. You proclaim with glee how cheap everything is as soon as you’re 10 miles north of Watford
  2. You find yourself telling your parents that they haven’t lived until they’ve tried sourdough pizza
  3. You spend £12 on a Whole Foods salad for lunch and die a little bit inside
  4. You roll your eyes every time you get stuck behind a tourist with a huge suitcase on the tube
  5. You respond slightly too enthusiastically when people ask you directions and you actually know the answer
  6. You always remark how different the tap water tastes when you go to other places
  7. Going to a sober rave at 6am constitutes a genuine social activity
  8. You started/thought about starting a healthy eating blog and Instagram your breakfast most weekends
  9. A weekend isn’t a weekend unless you’ve gone out for brunch at least once
  10. You’ve got two unconnected friends who have been Tinder matched with each other
  11. You’ve spent an inordinate amount of time queuing to get into the crap-fest that is Winter Wonderland
  12. You silently tut to yourself anytime someone gets their bag/coat/scarf/body part caught in the tube doors
  13. You really got into yoga… for the trial month. Then it got too expensive.
  14. You only drink locally brewed craft ales, prosecco or Red Stripe now
  15. You don’t remember how to drive a car
  16. You own more gym wear than you know what to do with, despite going to the gym maybe twice in the past six months and wearing the same outfit every time
  17. You’ll always go for an Espresso Martini if there’s one on the menu, no matter how expensive it is
  18. You’ll often be found in a car park on weekends spending all of your dollar on exotic looking “street food” such as slow-roasted pulled pork with a side of lobster mac n cheese. That’s real food from the streets.
  19. You and your friends moan about how skanky Infernos is, while secretly wishing you had an excuse to go back
  20. As soon as the sun comes out you’re half naked in Regents Park with a £30 jug of Pimms
  21. As soon as the sun comes out, you Instagram whatever London landmark is in the closest vicinity and filter the shit out of it. #londonlifeProcessed with VSCO with c1 preset
  22. You’ve been to a festival and had no clue who most of the acts were
  23. You eavesdrop on every conversation you overhear on the tube
  24. You know someone who knows someone who’s written a book
  25. You know someone who knows someone who’s slept with a celebrity
  26. You shrug off Shoreditch House as uncool but as soon as a member invites you in, you LEAP at the chance
  27. You’ve walked down the Kings Road and seen a minor character off Made in Chelsea and been embarrassed at how excited this made you
  28. You consider yourself an authority on the Pret menu which means you must stay abreast of all their latest product lines
  29. You think that going to watch the fireworks on New Years Eve is so passé
  30. You tell anyone who doesn’t live there that despite the crippling living costs, outdated transport system and lack of affordable housing, there really is no other place you’d rather live.  ❤
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2 comments

  1. Is there any other way to pass the time of the tube journey than number 23?

    1. It’s the best form of entertainment for sure!

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